Forget about that short trip that I wanted to take alone with my husband. That money will be used to fill K's three cavities that she has. Yes, she went for a cleaning today and it was determined that she has three cavities. We better book a double block of therapy that week because we're going to need it. She'll be having nitrous oxide so once they administer it she'll be okay but getting to that point might be a challenge. She doesn't know yet and I'm not going to tell her until a couple of days before. Her appt. is 12/13 and she doesn't need to worry for more than 6 weeks.

While the dentist had me in the other room talking about K's cavities I mentioned to him that I made Lindsey an appt in January because I noticed some decay on her teeth and she isn't covered by our dental insurance until then. He said that he doesn't want me to wait and that they will waive the cost of the visit. Her new appt. is on 11/7. This is gonna be interesting.

The appointment went very well. I'll admit I was a bit skeptical and actually wondered if this was a step in the right direction. Within 10 minutes of being in the therapist's office I knew that it was a good fit. K warmed up to her immediately and without being coerced she began to talk about things that worry her including the death of her baby cousin. My eyes welled up and I was unsure whether I should show my tears or try to act as brave as K was. I got myself under control and K didn't notice a thing. She has another appointment on Thursday and for now I'll be going in the office with her because M feels like this is a family effort and she needs some input from me with regards to some of K's issues. She's already given us some strategies to help Kaelyn with her anxiety. We are now moving in the right direction.

I've made the first step in helping my daughter. I now realize that things are getting worse and she will not "grow" out of this. Tomorrow we have an appointment with a therapist who was very highly recommended by her pediatrician. I believe that she may be suffering with
OCD which causes her anxiety. It is interfering with her living her life as a child should and she is quite aware of this. The anxiety is causing her physical discomfort.

She shouldn't have to go through this and it bothers me alot. Coming to grips with this I've found myself crying while I'm in bed at night. You'll never guess what bothers me most about this. The fact that she thrives in school with very little problems. She feels very comfortable in school because she knows the routine. Her whole day is scheduled for her and as long as she knows what is in store she is fine. She needs to have routine and schedules in her life. The only difficulty she has at school is if she gets dirty. If she gets the smallest speck on her clothes at school she can not focus on her school work because she is obsessed with worry about her clothes. She is a perfectionist and I do notice her erasing and rewriting until her writing is "perfect". Her teacher has asked that I discourage her from erasing and rewriting as often as she does. Mrs. A. has explained to her that she has excellent penmanship and there is no need to keep rewriting her answers. Other than that while most people at school have no idea about her OCD or anxiety but when she comes home it all bubbles over.

What I've written about her is only a small sampling of what we go through daily. I'm looking forward to the appt tomorrow. I need some strategies to help her.

• The heat has been turned on and the beds now have flannel sheets.
• Lindsey has had a stomach virus since Thursday. Our entire weekend was spent home changing diapers often. I hope this doesn't set her back on her potty training success.
• I decided to make a pot of soup and a pot of chili since we were housebound and the cold weather has arrived.
• I no longer have to drive 30 mins to get to the closest Target. A new one just opened up a few towns away. Kaelyn and I escaped last night after Lindsey fell asleep for some retail therapy.
• Lindsey has a dentist appt. on Jan 3rd and I'm going to mention her decay when Kaelyn has her teeth cleaned next week. At least I'll be somewhat prepared on what type of action they are likely to take.
• Lindsey had 2 yr old checkup this past week and she weighs 23lbs and is 33 inches tall.
• Lindsey is learning new words at an alarming rate and starting to make 2-3 word sentences.
• Work is slow for Chad and starting next week he'll be working 4 day work weeks for a short time. He is an hourly paid employee so he'll be able to collect unemployment benefits for the loss of pay.
• For the first time since Lindsey has been born I've actually thought about taking a short trip without the kids. Maybe in the spring. My marriage really needs it.

After sitting in the plane for 2 hours while we waited for a severe thunder and lightning storm to end we finally landed at 12:15am on Sunday morning. My mom and dad were at the airport to pick us up. When we knew that we were going to be late I told them they could leave my van at the airport but they missed the kids and wanted to see them.

The weather was perfect. The girls got to swim as much as they wanted. It didn't rain until we got on the plane to come home. Lindsey loved the characters, especially Jo Jo and the Little Einsteins. She was so well behaved and really took it all in. I expected that it would be a challenge to keep her in the stroller but there was so much to see and do and she loved it all. Kaelyn enjoyed herself too but she had a couple of incidents that make me worry. I'll probably talk about that at a later time as it is still raw and I don't think that I can properly explain it all so that you would understand. She has more worries and anxiety than a child should ever have.