Pepere B. came home from the hospital today. They did another cardiac catherization yesterday and he had another blockage. They've inserted another stent with hopes that this will help. They think that he may have had a slight heart attack yesterday morning. We also found out some disturbing news. We knew that he had fallen while they were camping in June but my grandmother played it off as if he had tripped. Well, apparently when he fell he lost his eyesight in his left eye and it hasn't come back. They didn't tell the dr. until they went to Mass General and they are now wondering if he had a mini stroke of some sort. Once he's recovered from the surgery they'll be running more tests but they did say that they don't feel comfortable performing bypass surgery on him. He's home and my mom says that he looks much better. She gave them a lecture about his reluctance to go to the hospital in the ambulance. It was a very scary hour long drive bringing him to Mass General. She said that he was very lifeless. They apologized.

Breastfeeding class was more informative for Chad than I. The lactation consultant spoke in a very relaxing tone and I found myself fighting to stay awake. She was very encouraged that there were so many couples in the class. She said that the class size keeps growing and they've had to add more classes.

Today is our 9th wedding anniversary. It seems like we were married just yesterday. Time sure does fly. Chad brought home flowers for me. It was nice, he remembered that I had stargazer lillies in my wedding bouquet and he made sure to tell the florist to be sure to include a few. He also bought some delicious homemade almond turtles and pecan turtles.

It's suppossed to get very hot and humid starting tomorrow and lasting through the weekend. I'll spend alot of time in the air conditioning and maybe I'll spend some time on Sat. in my parents pool. It's hard for me to get in and out on those pool stairs though. I may need to hire a crane service to haul me in and out.

Sunday we have two parties to go to. A 1st birthday party for Chad's friend Scott's daughter. They also have a pool but I don't think I'd like to strut around in my bathing suit at their house. Also, my cousin, who is a high risk OB is here from New Jersey and my uncle is having a cookout at his house. I will bring my bathing suit there though.

My mother is on her way to Boston with my grandfather. He hasn't been feeling well and his local dr. said that he needed to go back to see the heart dr. They wanted him to go by ambulance but he wouldn't. My mother also wanted him to go by ambulance because of the lane restrictions caused by the DNC. They did say that if the angioplasty didn't work this time they would probably need to do bypass surgery. I feel sick thinking about that. I keep hoping and praying that his 86 year old body will be able to endure that type of surgery. It's definitely something that he is willing to do. He has too much pride to live out his remaining years on oxygen or in a wheelchair because walking puts too much strain on his heart.

I had my weekly dr. appt this morning and everything is perfect. I like the practice, they take a very "hands-off" approach to things. I'm almost 38 weeks and I haven't had to have an internal exam yet. They feel its important to labor at home as long as possible. They won't require me to have an IV while I'm in labor. They encourage the use of the jacuzzi tubs in the hospital and the birth balls. I feel much more empowered this time than I did when I was pregnant with Kaelyn.

We've taken a Childbirth Refresher class this time. Our first class was last Tuesday and we have another tonight. This has also been much different than the first time around. The only breathing that we've learned is deep breaths in through the nose and out your mouth. Mostly, we've learned about all the birthing positions we can try, massage techniques and other things that the hospital has to offer. We've enjoyed listening to the instructor. She's emphasized that the hospital will allow us to drink and eat lightly while we are in labor to keep our strength up. Tonight we'll get to tour the labor and delivery and postpartum rooms which are all private. Another nice thing is that Kaelyn has full access to me for 24 hours after the birth. If I delivered in the middle of the night she could come see me and the baby. I wouldn't drag her out of bed but at least I know she doesn't have to wait for visiting hours.

Tomorrow, we have a Breastfeeding class at the hospital. I really hope that this helps Chad. With Kaelyn he was supportive but when things went downhill he wasn't quite sure what to do to help me. Between the lactation consultants, the LLL leaders that I've met and my online friends who have offered help if I need it I should have plenty of people to lean on for help.

Kaelyn is getting hungry. I've got to make us something for lunch.

It's 4:30 am and I'm awake. After days of humid weather a cold front has arrived and I woke up to close some windows. I knew that it was going to get cool but it feels like fall. I've been very lucky that it hasn't been a real hot summer during my pregnancy. While I was pregnant with K, the summer of 1999, I spent most of my time in the pool or in the air conditioning.

Chad turned 30 years old on Friday. He is 3 months younger than me, our birthdays are both on the 23rd day of the month, April and July. He's put in a request. He'd like me to deliver the baby on the 11 of August so that both of our kids will be born on the 11th (Kaelyn is 9/11) and then he'll have no problem remembering any of our bdays.

Thursday, July 29th is our wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe that we've been married 9 years. We were so young. My parents are taking us out to dinner at Vinny T's on Saturday night. I'm going to try to find a babysitter for Kaelyn.

I think that I'm tired enough to head back to bed for a few more hours of sleep.

The weekend was quite busy. Friday night we went to Chad's aunts to celebrate his uncle's b-day. We had a clamboil which Kaelyn had been looking forward to all week. She ate about a quart of clams and she was in heaven. His aunt really went overboard, we had the clamboil, lobsters, scallops wrapped in bacon, grilled shrimp and fish. It was a feast!
 
Saturday, Kaelyn had her Sibling Class at the hospital. It was cute and she got to tour the nursery. She didn't get to see a postpartum room because the hospital was chock full. Then we had shopping to do. I have a baby shower in August and a few birthdays so we bought presents for all of those occasions so that I don't have to worry about it later. We got home late and I was exhausted.
 
Sunday we had another birthday party/cookout and then I came home and took a nap. I probably shouldn't have done that because then I couldn't sleep last night. I tossed and turned all night long.
 
Today, Kaelyn and I have a hair appt and then we're home for the rest of the day. We'll (Chad and I) be cleaning the bathroom and re-caulking the bathtub. It really needs it.

I love it when the UPS man shows up at my door and its not work-related materials! I ordered some Usborne Books from Mani's e-show late at night on July 7th and they arrived today. I must say that I'm impressed that it only took one week and the books are fantastic. I haven't given them to K yet because they are going to be a gift once the baby is born. Order now, there isn't much time left!!!

My grandfather is doing well. In fact, I'm leaving in about 45 minutes to head to Boston to pick him up.

I'm sorry for the delay in posting. I seem to get sidetracked every time I intend to post. I'm feeling much better. I really do think that it had alot to do with sleep deprivation. Believe it or not, I've been sleeping alot better for about a week. I'm running my air conditioner every night whether its hot or not. The noise helps me sleep better and I don't get woken up by noises in the neighborhood. It also seems to help Kaelyn sleep later in the morning. It's nice, we haven't been waking until at least 9:30a.m.

Saturday we spent most of the day getting the newborn clothes down from the attic, washing them and putting them away. We put another dresser in Kaelyn's room and we're using that for the baby clothes. The infant carseat is all ready to go too. Other than the clothes and carseat we'll take the other baby equipment down from the attic if we feel that we need it. I did buy a breast pump from Target recently. I was getting anxious and felt like I had to have one because if I had one when Kaelyn was born maybe things would have turned out differently. I want to be prepared for any obstacles that we may encouter this time around. I'm determined to make it work. I wish that I had done some research on breast pumps but I didn't. I have no idea if the one that I bought is any good. I haven't taken it out of the box and I still have the receipt. Feel free to offer any input. On a funny note, Kaelyn wanted me to give the breast pump a try when we got home from the store. She's a riot. Then we were eating dinner at my parents house and she told everyone that we had been to Target earlier in the day to buy a breast pump. Later I had to tell her that we keep certain discussions in our house and not at my parents dinner table.

I have a LLL meeting tonight. I'm looking forward to it. Tonight's subject if "Overcoming Breastfeeding Difficulties". I already have a list of questions for them.

My grandfather, who is 86, had angioplasty surgery today. He's really been so healthy up until the past couple of years. He's still been active, they go camping two times a year. For about a month or two he's been having trouble with his heart and just feeling weak all over. His surgery was at 10a.m. this morning and I haven't heard anything yet. I keep telling myself that I'm sure his surgery was probably delayed because there was another patient that was more urgent than he. I wish someone would just call already.

This week was one of the most difficult that I can remember. I didn't feel like myself but I couldn't really pinpoint it. I think that depression had been setting in for awhile and this week I took a downward spiral. I didn't see much of Chad until Friday night. Most of the week he spent helping his friend Scott installing his pool after work and often didn't come home til 10pm. I really missed him alot. I tried not to complain because Scott is going to install new windows for us. It will be a huge savings since we'll only be paying for the windows and not the labor. Chad had to work this morning and then he is working at the Eric Clapton show tonight. I just lost it and cried for most of the day. He was home in the afternoon and he was at a loss with how to handle my uncontrollable sobbing. I can't remember the last time I've cried so hard. I'm totally exhausted and can't sleep. I've been having trouble sleeping. Not only because I'm uncomfortable but I just can't turn my brain off and I spend hours in bed thinking and worrying. I have a dr. appt on Tuesday and I will mention it to the dr. but I'm not sure that I want to go on meds or anything. I did warn Chad today that once I have the baby he may need to keep a close eye on me just incase I suffer from ppd. I didn't experience any of this while I was pregnant with Kaelyn or postpartum. It's not a good feeling.