I did it! I just gave my resignation at work. My last day will be Nov 26th. I feel a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. My manager was shocked and talked about hiring me as a consultant. I told her that I wouldn't be able to follow a set schedule and I'd have to do most of the work at home. She was fine with that, she's just got to go through the process of getting it approved. Our office is small and close knit and I could tell that she was a little upset. I'll miss most of my co-workers but I'm relieved.

Kaelyn drew this picture of Andrea's new baby Acadia.

I'm too old to stay out late. Last night we Chad and I went to Providence to meet up with some co-workers that were in from out of town. They invited us out for dinner. After dinner we made our way to Dave & Busters and watched the remainder of the World Series. We hung out for awhile longer and then we headed home at midnight. It was a fun night and Chad got to meet many of the "guys" that I interact with on a daily basis. They were happy to meet him too.

Since Andrea asked. We're going on a Western Carribean Cruise for our vacation. We planned it long ago and we're very excited. I really need a vacation.

I'm hoping that when I get back I'll have good news to share on two fronts. Hopefully I'll be pregnant since I should know the day that we leave. I may have a very good opportunity to work from home. I've known about the latter for about a week but I didn't want to share until I knew for sure. I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to write about it. I'm trying not to get my hopes up but I can't help it. I will be working in the same field with someone I've known for a long time. I'll be working from home and it will be very flexible. My hours will vary. I was hoping to be able to give my resignation last Friday so that I wouldn't have to go back after vacation. No such luck though!

Weekly Wrap-Up

This couldn't have come at a better time. We are preparing for what will probably be our last big vacation for a long time.

1. What is the most essential item you include in your suitcase when you travel? Why?
Comfortable footwear is a must while I'm on vacation. Other than that I just throw some clothes and toiletries in the suitcase and I'm off.

2. What is the least essential item you include in your suitcase when you travel? Why?
Make-up. I don't wear makeup often at home and I wear it even less on vacation. Although I think that maybe I'll pack some since this time we're going on a cruise and we will have a formal night.

3. How early do you start packing for a big trip (say, a week)? Why so early or so late?
Well the suitcases have been on Kaelyn's bed for about a month and I had good intentions to pack early. That didn't happen. I did pack most of Kaelyn's suitcase last weekend. I'm not sure when I'll get around to doing ours. It better be soon though.

4. What do you pack in your carry-on bag if you're flying? If you've never flown, estimate what you'd pack.
I always carry a book, my wallet, and any documentation that I may need.

5. What kind of stuff do you (or would you) pack if you were traveling with a child for a three-hour flight?
We'll allow Kaelyn to bring one doll, books, crayons or markers. Our flight there leaves at 7:30pm and her bedtime is usually 8pm so I'm hoping that she falls asleep on the plane. On the way home our flight is at 7am so that means we'll be awake super early that morning and hopefully she'll nap on the plane. She usually does, I think its the white noise that puts her to sleep.

I caved. I'm dying my hair right now. I've been trying so hard not to but I couldn't do it anymore. I hate the maintenance that goes along with it but I couldn't stand the gray. I have an incredible amount of gray hair for a 29 year old. I don't mind the color but its so wild when its gray. It's no longer hair, its wire. You can't style wire, it doesn't do a thing. To know me you'd know that I'm a plain jane when it comes to looks. There is nothing fancy about me. No jewlery, I only wear my wedding ring. I don't spend much money on clothes. Luckily for me I'm allowed to wear jeans to work because I don't own much more than that. I don't wear makeup very often at all. My hair is very simple. I blow dry it quickly in the morning if I have time.

Okay, who am I kidding, it does bother me a little that the gray makes me look much older. Although, I did get carded at the package store when I went to get a 6 pack of Bud Light tonight to go with the pizza I had ordered. I have a young looking face with old hair. Someday I'm sure that I'll have beautiful snow white hair like my grandmother. I get the gray hair from that side of the family.

I did some major fall cleaning today. The upstairs is completely clean and I hope it stays that way. I thought that my allergies were acting up because of dusting but I think I may have a cold. I've been fighting it off with vitamin C and echinachea for a couple of days but I guess it finally got me. I was pretty bad tonight and Chad guaranteed that I would feel better if I took his remedy of Alka Seltzer. That is some nasty stuff but not as bad as Nyquil. I am feeling better but I'm not ready to admit that to him yet.

I've dusted off the bread machine and made two loaves of bread this weekend. They weren't great. The bread machine was a gift from Chad's aunt a couple of years ago. Now I remember why the bread machine makes its residence in the basement most of the time. I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong but I prefer homemade bread from the oven. The bread machine just doesn't satisfy me.

You've probably noticed that I have been announcing any weight loss these days! That's because I'm not losing. I'm still fitting in the same smaller size clothing but I won't be for long if I don't control myself. Of course I have every excuse in the book for being out of control, the Red Sox post season, the Clomid, work etc. Chad is on his way home with Portuguese food but tomorrow I'm hopping back on the wagon. I've got to.

The Red Sox lost. I'm sad that they lost but happy that I should start feeling back to normal again. During the whole playoffs I've been tense which has been causing my back to hurt. I come to work feeling like I have a hangover and I don't even drink!

Since we've been rooting for the Red Sox I've been singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" with K. Yesterday before she went to bed she called my parents on speakphone and sang to them. I never noticed before because I was always singing to but this is her rendition.

Take me out to the ballgame
Take me out to the crowd

Buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks
I don't care if I ever get back

So it's group, group, group
for the hometeam

If they don't win its a shame
So its one, two, three strike your out at the old ballgame

A good friend of mine is struggling with depression. I wish that we didn't live 750 miles apart so that I could help more. We spoke today and he was really down. He's just started taking meds and he has good support from his doctor and from his wife. I know that he'll get through this but it hurts to see him like this.

I'm exhausted, mentally. I think!

It started last evening. Today was Daniel's, a child in K's class, birthday. Kaelyn and I started making him a birthday card and she announced nervously, "Maybe it isn't a good idea to make Daniel a bday card. He won't like it, he'll just make noises." Daniel is autistic. I explained to Kaelyn that he just has trouble getting using his words to communicate but I was sure that he would appreciate the card and it would put a smile on his face. She agreed.

This had been nagging at me for awhile before Kaelyn mentioned it. I never knew if I should bring up the subject to her or if she would just see him as she does all of the other 4 year olds in her class. I left it be, because honestly I didn't know what to tell her. Clearly I could see that he was a challenge for the teacher and probably needed to be placed in a school with teachers who specialty is autism. But he wasn't, he was in her class and he deserved to be there just the same as every other child.

I guess I never even gave it a thought that Kaelyn would be scared of Daniel. Now that I look back, it clearly made her nervous. She gave Mem a hard time this morning and cried for me and said that she didn't want to go to school. When I picked her up to bring her to school she was better but still upset. She asked me if I would give the card to Daniel when we got to the school yard. I agreed that we would both say Happy Bday to him and give him the card that she had worked so hard on. Wouldn't you know, he wasn't done eating his lunch (he goes to school all day) so he didn't line up with his fellow afternoon classmates. This week happens to be Kaelyn's turn as the line leader so off she went with the card in her hand. I assume she gave it to him. I went in the van and cried. I cried for Kaelyn because she has so many fears and so many things make her nervous. And I cried for Daniel because its just not fair, if 4 year olds see that he is different so will many other people in his lifetime. It's just not fair.

There is a good part of this story. For one, I love Kaelyn's teacher Mrs. N., and so does Kaelyn. I can see that Mrs. N. gives Kaelyn the confidence that she needs to participate in group activites yet she is soft spoken and so kind to her. Mrs. N. understands Kaelyn better than most people. She understands the type of child that Kaelyn is. She also understands the type of child that Daniel is. She has the patience and understanding of a saint. I hope that all of Daniel's future teachers have the same understanding of him.

Kaelyn was so happy to share some great news with me when I got home. Daniel was thrilled that she made him a card and he asked Mrs. N. if he could sit near Kaelyn today during circle time. She said that they were buddies for the whole day. Of course she continued, and said that he didn't talk, just made noises but she knew what he wanted and they played together during "playtime". My heart melted.

Chad's been sick since Thursday night. We were thinking it was some sort of stomach virus but he's still no better and I'm getting a little worried. I'm trying to convince him to call the dr. tomorrow. He's never been this sick before.

This morning I had to go for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork. The ultrasound is routine because they need to be sure that I have no large cysts before I start my next round of Clomid which will begin tomorrow. So, I'm fine to start the meds.

It's cold and raw out so I'm cooking this chicken recipe that I swiped from Andrea. I'm hoping that it takes the chill out of the house so that I don't have to turn up the heat.

One drawback of living in our neighborhood is the Friday night football games. Yes, Chad and Kaelyn do enjoy going to them but there is often trouble after the game. I just had to call 911 because there was a big fight outside of our house. I could hear yelling and glass breaking and vulgar names being called. I knew that the police were on their way but I saw my neighbor outside trying to get the crowd to move along and break things up. The crowd starting getting on his case and I called 911 again, frantic asking if the police were almost there yet? They were just arriving as I called but I was afraid something would happen to my neighbor. You never know if these kids have knives or even worse a gun. In no time, 8-10 policemen were there. A couple of kids got arrested. I was amazed at the tone and the language that some of these kids used with the cops. Scary.

The Friday Five

1. Do you watch sports? If so, which ones?
Yes, we are definitely a sports household. Chad watches them all. I really only follow football and baseball.

2. What/who are your favorite sports teams and/or favorite athletes?
We're die hard Red Sox and Patriots fans.

3. Are there any sports you hate?
I hate to watch hockey or golf on television. I have been to a hockey game and it wasn't all that bad as a spectator at the arena but I can't handle it on tv.

4. Have you ever been to a sports event?
Yes, I've been to many sports events. I happen to work in the sports industry so we're able to obtain premium seats for a reasonable price. In fact, the company owns box seats at Fenway and they put all of the employees names in a raffle for 2 tickets to Sat game and 2 tix to the Sunday playoff games. We should find out this afternoon who the lucky winner is.

5. Do/did you play any sports (in school or other)? How long did you play?
Yes, I played softball in middle school (on a travel team) and also in high school.

No need to go to the office for bloodwork on Sat. morning. Aunt Flo just arrived. She's such a bitch!

I never did find my June bank statement. The checkbook balancing was on hold until I received a copy of my June statement in the mail yesterday. Now, I'm so proud to report that my checkbook is balanced to the penny. Let's see how long I can make this last.

Saturday I go for bloodwork at the RE's office to see if I'm pregnant. I'm not sure if I can wait that long. I may go out and buy a pregnancy test tonight since I'm on Day 33 now. It's hard to know when to test since my cycles are so screwed up. My body may be playing tricks on me but damn I feel like this could be the month.

To say that our household is excited that the Red Sox are in the playoffs is an understatement. Every night when they play Kaelyn asks if she can stay up to watch the game. I let her lay on the couch and she falls asleep within 5 minutes. It's so cute.

Yesterday she was extremely whiney. I was getting so angry with her in the van that I turned the music louder so that I couldn't hear her whining. It worked, because I wasn't paying attention to her (because I couldn't hear it) she calmed right down and enjoyed the music. Some days are worst than others.

The Friday Five


1. What vehicle do you drive?
A 2003 Dodge Grand Caravan Sport.

2. How long have you had it?
We just got it in August.

3. What is the coolest feature on your vehicle?
The coolest feature has got to be the integrated child seat. K loves it too.

4. What is the most annoying thing about your vehicle?
About 30 seconds after you start driving all of the doors lock. This is a nice feature except for the fact that when you park the car only the driver's door unlocks (it's a safety feature). When I drop K off in the morning I leave the van running. I get out of my door and I forget to unlock all the doors since they don't unlock automatically. I forget about this until I get to the passenger side slider and can't open. I mumble to myself and walk around to my door to unlock it. I'll get the hang of it eventually.

5. If money were no object, what vehicle would you be driving right now?
Good question. Probably just a more expensive mini-van like the Toyota or Honda. I like both of them alot but I couldn't afford the pricetag.

Help! I lost the June bank statement. I know its around here somewhere.

Chad finally realizes that we need to find a new home for our dog. Tonight she snapped at Kaelyn. This happened one other time and I was really upset then. Tonight Chad saw it happen so he knows that she didn't provoke the dog in any way. We haven't talked about the incident because I don't want it to be dramatic for Kaelyn. She loves the dog and most of the time she can do anything and the dog doesn't flinch. I think that I'm going to put up a notice at work to see if anyone is interested in taking her. Hopefully Chad can do the same and we'll find her a good home. It does make me incredibly sad because we've had her for 8 years but I've given it my best effort.

I'm suppossed to be balancing the checkbook. I haven't done it in awhile and haven't kept up with the check register so I have alot of work ahead of me. I changed into my comfy Old Navy Lounge pants and this shirt. Kaelyn is wearing the same t-shirt so that we're twins. She loves being twins. Oh, and I'm also listening to Billy Squier. I'm not a big fan but it'll do while I'm trying to get my finances in order.

There is some good news in my day though. I went for my day 25 bloodwork and the nurse called back and I did ovulate and the dr. was happy with it. Even if I don't get pregnant this month I can stay on the same dose of Clomid. I'm going for more bloodwork on 10/12 to see if I'm pregnant. I could have gone in during the week but I don't want to take more time out of work. It takes 45 mins to get there and then 45 mins to get back to work. I figure if I got on Sat, maybe we can go to the zoo afterwards.